In August 1996 (I can’t recall the exact day) when I arrived
in Indiana, I was running from a very dark time in my life, a time that very
few people know about. Suffice it to say that I was making every effort to
emerge from my own private and professional hell. I was simply grateful for an
opportunity to start my life over. I was not happy about abandoning my family
and friends in New York, but coming to Purdue to begin a new chapter in my life
was the best thing I could have done for myself.
The person I am now is vastly different from the Jim who
arrived in West Lafayette almost 19 years ago. I will simply list (in no
precise order) the changes that have occurred in my life since my arrival in
Hoosier land:
- I am now a non-smoker (I quit smoking on December 18, 2001, partly due to my participation in a clinical trial for Zyban conducted by Purdue’s nursing program).
- I enjoyed my first two long-term relationships. Although one lasted just a year and a half and the other lasted just a little more than four years, both enriched my life.
- I experienced the dizzying rush of irrational passion and fell madly (and I do mean madly) in love with one of the most incredible men I’ve ever met. Sadly, that man is also “the one that got away.” I love him still, and I think I will forever.
- I won a large sum of money on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” in February 2000 and enjoyed my Warholian fifteen minutes of fame.
- I survived a life-threatening bout of pneumonia in November 2009, endured a thoracotomy, and rediscovered the healing power of love and friendship.
- I attained better health overall. I’m now committed to working out and bicycling, and I am in much better physical shape at the age of 50 than I was at the age of 31.
- I taught a lot classes at Purdue. I took a lot of classes at Purdue. I learned more from my students and my instructors than I ever imagined possible.
- In addition to my formal education, I earned an equally valuable informal education in the politics of teaching and teacher training.
- I finally earned the PhD I sought when I first arrived, even though it took much longer than I’d anticipated and it was not in the field that I’d originally planned to earn it in. I took a discontinuous path as I searched for the goal that was best for me, and I was the recipient of much gracious assistance from friends and colleagues along the way.
On this final day in my life as a Hoosier, I am feeling a
unique combination of emotions. The primary one is happiness—I have
accomplished two of my lifelong goals: I’ve earned a PhD and attained a
tenure-track faculty position at a fantastic university.
Running a close second is excitement—for my new life in San Francisco, which
has long been one of my favorite cities in the US. Also strong are my feelings
of determination and hope—determination to continue working hard and earning
even more success; and hope that I will finally find in San Francisco (or
nearby) a partner to share and enrich my life. These wonderful feelings are
seasoned with dashes of melancholy and nostalgia—for the life I knew in
Indiana, which surprised and strengthened me in ways that I couldn’t
anticipate; for the friends and colleagues I will leave behind; for the
salvation I found in this most unlikely place. Indiana has nurtured me for the
past 19 years, and I wasn’t always satisfied with the way it treated me. As it
turns out, however, it’s given me precisely what I needed to progress to the
next chapter of my life.
I fled to Indiana to escape hell. I now race from Indiana to
a place that holds for me innumerable opportunities and the promise of all that
I’ve ever wanted.
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